In All Honesty, I didn't realise they still peddled shite like this. A console port so insultingly cut-and-pasted that its menu systems make you weep, its refusal to recognise even the existence of a mouse makes you incensed with anger and its insistence on showering one of the greatest games of the past decade in noxious shit makes you gag. Yes, I'm pissed off.
Let's imagine you don't have a gamepad and you want to play Resi 4 on PC. Well, use your imagination - you're pretty f***ed. Controls are entirely keyboard-based - and as soon as one of the game's Fahrenheit-style timed button-bashing sequences kicks in, you'll get requests like 'Button 5 and button 6!', and you'll be staring at your tildes, inserts and right-shifts in shock, horror and growing nausea. I played this abhorration with a 360 pad in the end - but even then I had to alt tab out to find out exactly how the buttons were numbered in my computer's control panel.
What's more, Resi 4 simply doesn't look as good on PC as it did back on my lowly GameCube a couple of years ago. Weird I know, but drizzling higher resolutions onto a console game that previously had no lighting system and instead relied on textures to complement each other in their shared darkness has rendered the game stark and unlovely. A darkened cavern may now be crisper, but the more detailed rocks in its walls look silly and unrealistic - and any aid given to the game by a television's inherent blur completely evaporated. Cut-scenes too now seem cruelly dated and fuzzy -meaning that much of the 'wow' factor is now lost despite the sheer excitement that can still brim over in them...
Life On Mars
If you've been on a lunar expedition for a little while, and missed out on the fuss, then Resi 4 follows Leon Kennedy - a man who may share Ian 'H from Steps' Watkins' floppy blonde hair, but is a far more competent killing machine. He's in generic Eastern Europe to find the US President's kidnapped daughter -but not only has everyone been turned into a zombie, but some are wearing bags over their heads and waving chainsaws. Chainsaws whose distant revving noise chill your soul to its very core, and which can and will cleave your head in two at a moment's notice.
Fried Gold
Despite the bitter yellow bile Ubisoft have managed to spew into its PC iteration, Resi 4 is, remains and ever more shall be one of the best games I've ever played. It's the best zombie shooter ever thrilling, inventive, exciting and persistent in its desire to throw countless ingenious set-pieces in your direction.
Here are the Resident Evil 4 System Requirements (Minimum)
- CPU: Pentium III or AMD Athlon (or better)
- CPU SPEED: 1 GHz
- RAM: 256 MB
- OS: Windows 2000/XP (only)
- VIDEO CARD: 128 MB DirectX 9.0c-compliant AGP / PCI Express w/ Shader 2.0 or higher (NVIDIA GeForce 6/7 families+ /ATI Radeon X Series+ [X200 not supported])
- TOTAL VIDEO RAM: 128 MB
- 3D: Yes
- HARDWARE T&L: Yes
- PIXEL SHADER: 2.0
- VERTEX SHADER: 2.0
- DIRECTX VERSION: DirectX 9.0c or higher (included on disc)
- SOUND CARD: Yes
- FREE DISK SPACE: 3.5 GB
- CD-ROM: 16x or faster CD-ROM
Resident Evil 4 Recommended Requirements
- CPU: Pentium 4/Athlon XP or better
- CPU SPEED: 2 GHz
- RAM: 512 MB
- OS: Windows 2000/XP (only)
- VIDEO CARD: 256 MB DirectX 9.0c-compliant AGP / PCI Express w/ Shader 2.0 or higher (NVIDIA GeForce 6/7 families+ /ATI Radeon X Series+ [X200 not supported])
- TOTAL VIDEO RAM: 256 MB
- 3D: Yes
- HARDWARE T&L: Yes
- PIXEL SHADER: 2.0
- VERTEX SHADER: 2.0
- DIRECTX VERSION: DirectX 9.0c or higher (included on disc)
- SOUND CARD: Yes
- FREE DISK SPACE: 3.5 GB
- CD-ROM: 16x or faster CD-ROM
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